Jesus Groupies

There are several stories in the Bible that show Jesus’ interactions with women. He showed the same kindness, patience and love to even those who many would call undeserving: Samaritans, adulteresses and prostitutes. I can’t help but wonder how many of those women crushed on Him. What if Jesus was the object of ladies’ affections? Think about it. He was probably handsome, definitely gentle, patient and loving. He was a little mysterious, speaking in parables and very anti-religious terms. So He was a rebel or hippy in a way, bucking society norms. And He was great with kids. Seriously, what woman doesn’t swoon over that?! It would be like James Dean saying, “Let the kids come hang out with me.” I’m telling you, that’s Kryptonite for all women.

There are theories that Jesus may have been married. [watch or read The Da Vinci Code] It’s hard to say if that’s true or not. I know I’m ruffling some religious feathers, but think about it. The Gospels don’t give a day by day, minute by minute account of His life. It’s not a diary. It’s a highlight reel if you will. It’s His greatest hits album from His three year tour. Whether or not He was married or courted a woman is fairly irrelevant to His ministry and message as a whole. Also, He had every other type of relationship. Is it so hard to imagine that He loved a woman enough to have a marriage?

One might argue that Jesus being married would indicate favoritism, which God doesn’t do. To that I would say look at the relationships Jesus had that we do know about for certain. He had the multitude that showed up for his major teachings (like concerts). That’s the five thousand that got a free lunch and the crowd that heard the beatitudes sermon. Then there were the 12 disciples that he had hand selected to be His personal students and security detail. They got a little more in depth teachings like the vine and the branches. Within that group were Peter, James and John. Those three had special moments with Jesus that the others didn’t. They were His closest buddies that He allowed to see behind the curtain a bit like at the mount of transfiguration and the Garden of Gethsemane. But then there is John who refers to himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” There are even moments and interactions that prove John was Jesus’ BFF. Who else would you ask to take care of your mother with your last moments of life?

Does this mean Jesus played favorites? No! John wasn’t loved any more than the others, but he understood the depths of Jesus’ love because they were that tight. Just like most of us, Jesus simply had people that were closer to Him. Then why is it so hard for us to imagine that a woman was intimately close to Him as well? I’m not saying that’s what I believe without fail, just posing a thought for the sake of argument.

Let’s assume though, as most religious scholars believe, Jesus was unmarried and celibate. Do you really think it impossible for a woman to be attracted to him? Jesus was Holy, perfect and blameless, but not the women. What if the crowd pressing in to Him also included women trying to get a closer look at this Man who embodied perfection?

This line of thought occurred to me out of personal experience. For the first time in nearly 3 years, I find myself attracted to someone. It’s in that grueling crush phase where I’m not sure if it’s mutual or if he’s just being a nice guy. I caught myself considering the things that are drawing me toward him. Of course he’s good looking. He’s compassionate, generous, kind, intelligent and patient. He also has the “cool” factor and is super funny. Be still, my beating heart. Even though the suspense of the situation is killing me, it’s giving me time to evaluate what it is I truly like about this guy. Why him? Why now? No one has even remotely caught my attention in so long, I was beginning to think I’d successfully flipped the switch to becoming a spinster.

As I sit here pondering these things, I realize I am attracted to the Jesus in him. Maybe he’s attracted to the Jesus in me, too. Or maybe he’s just being nice because that’s how he is. Please let it be door number 1! Sometimes I catch myself looking around to see if he has other admirers and if he treats any of them differently than me. Occasionally I will take note of his kindnesses, certain expressions or scents. I’m telling you his cologne is heavenly! Admittedly, I’m being a total girl about the entire situation! But I’m strangely comfortable with it. Being a girl about it. Not the situation itself. That’s just driving me nuts, in case you didn’t notice.

That made me wonder: was Mary Magdalene torturing herself with these same type of girlie thoughts? Was Martha really just jealous because she was trying to get Jesus to notice her, too? What if the Samaritan woman was noticing as Jesus talked with her that He smelled delicious? Maybe the crowd pressing in was like Beatle-mania that included fainting women. After all, Jesus was a bit of a rockstar.

3 thoughts on “Jesus Groupies”

  1. *smile* While reading this the song from Jesus Christ Superstar ascended from the recesses of my youth – Marilyn McCoo’s character Mary Magdalene singing “I don’t know how to love him, what to do, how he moves me. He’s a man, he’s just a man – and I’ve had so many men before – in many different ways… He’s just one more. ….. Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love? Let my feelings out? I never thought I’d come to this! What’s it all about? Yes, He’s a rockstar.

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