You Can’t Hurry Love

I’m sitting here in my bed, cuddled up in my favorite blanket, with a box of tissues, and a vomitting 5 year old next to me. Jealous yet? The only thing worse than being sick is taking care of a sick child WHILE you’re sick. As a single parent, this isn’t my first rodeo. When illness strikes, single parents make due. We do what we must.

As I try to coax my teenager to “man up” and cook dinner for a house full of sickies, I realize first how fortunate I am to have a young man who wants to learn how to cook. My second realization hit me like a ton of bricks… For the first time in a very long time, I have a desire to be taken care of. So often, our image of an ideal mate is more rooted in fantasy than reality. But the older and wiser I become, the more I long for the practical.

Today, I dream of a man who can cook soup and let me Netflix binge for the afternoon without too much complaint. Willingness to run to the store for tissues and TheraFlu wouldn’t hurt either. Haha!

I must pause here to say that I’m not a big baby when I’m sick. Normally, especially as a single mom, I would push those feelings down and say, “Suck it up, Buttercup!” Our society publicizes this idea that I should be a single, independent woman. I’m expected to prove that I don’t need a man for anything. No room for vulnerability. Weakness is not allowed.

But today I let the feelings of longing come to the surface and explored them with curiosity. Desiring to be cared for, to be vulnerable to another, and to possibly even be provided for are not bad things. In fact, they’re natural, human feelings. Perhaps even, uniquely feminine feelings.

God designed us to be in relationship with Him and with each other. To fall into the trap that we can do everything ourselves is just that: a trap. That way of thinking is actually self-defeating and keeps us isolated. It holds us back from the more of God that can be expressed within a healthy relationship.

“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” -Genesis 2:18
There’s a hole in our heart that only God can fill. He also called us to be a friend to the lonely. God even created us to be godly romantic partners. In the very beginning, as we see above, God created a helper for Adam called Eve. She was called to help alongside her mate. Not to run ahead and do everything herself. And not to fall behind all wimpy-like.
As I seek a deeper relationship with Jesus, I am also learning to pray that He develops me to become the helper that my future husband needs. I pray that God grows me into a supportive and diligent wife while I wait for His best.

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