The Hardest Part

Every serious relationship reaches a certain point. I’m talking about the day when you see behind the curtain and you get a glimpse of their crazy. This person that you’ve grown attached to takes of their mask and you realize they’re far from perfect. It is on this day that you decide if you’re in it for the long haul or cut your losses.

Today was that day for me. My amazing man who has been my rock and the most compassionate person I know had a horrible day. We’re talking Murphy’s Law all over it from beginning to end. He got in a car accident after waking up late for work and one thing after another left him feeling helpless and, well, screwed. And I felt equally helpless. Nothing I could’ve said would have made it better. Saying, “God’s got this,” while still true, would’ve only irritated him more. So I prayed. A lot.

In typical dude fashion, he needed to retreat to the man cave and try to figure out a solution on his own. Conversely, in typical girl style, I wanted to make sure he was okay and ultimately that we were okay. But I knew how angry he was at the situation, so I let him be and I prayed some more.

I saw how he reacted under copious amounts of pressure. It wasn’t flawless. He was frustrated. He lost his cool a couple times. But more importantly, I saw him exercise self-control. He even made it a point to respond to me via text and let me know that it was going to be okay.

Later in the evening, we were able to calmly, rationally discuss our options for car repairs, stress reduction, and how to plan ahead. We assessed the damage and praised God for his safety.

I saw the crazy come out in the middle of crisis, but he quickly regained his composure. Although he didn’t talk to me most of the day, I knew he was processing through a lot of fear and anxiety. And even still, he responded to me. That shows me that while he may have struggled with managing anger in the past, he will never take it out on me or the kids. That was important for me to see firsthand.

Even in the midst of a terrible, awful, horrible, no good day, he showed me his character. He’s not flawless, but he’s striving to be better. And that won my heart all over again.

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